What is the key to successful relationship?
Some might say, that it’s partnership. And you couldn’t say for sure. Well, unless you lived happily married for 80 years.
But partnership had been the best possible option so far.
I have a friend, her husband is that kind of man who have a wandering eye. They are married for 10 years now, have a kid. But she is under constant stress. Monitoring his messages, Facebook, calls and meetings. He has become not only her husband but her full time job as well. Though there is a bright side. She keeps up. She looks like she’s 19. Seriously stunning. But is she happy?
Is this harmony? Far from it, I suppose. But a lot of couples live in this model of relationship. Everyday fear and paranoid thoughts.
There is another popular type of relationships. As they say: when one loves and another one allows to be loved. I don’t want to be rude, but this always sounded like a bullshit to me. How can this kind of relationship be successful?
I’ve been always fond of an idea of equal partnership.
But all this partnership thing can be even mysterious. Especially if you have never had an example of it. And God forbid if you try to take this example from TV of romantic novels. No no no!
I’m lucky to have my parents. They’ve been together since school! Such an example. My hubby didn’t have such an example. His parents divorced when he was little.
But I’ve been married and divorced 2 times before I met the love of my life (hope you are reading this, babe). And he had never been married before.
The trick is not only in successful example. The trick is in common goals.
And just a few other things ;)
1. Being able to feel safe
It means being yourself. Have an ability to relax and be honest.
2. Being honest.
To yourself as well.
3. Having an equal balance of power.
Having an equal balance of power means that both people share the same sense of obligation and responsibility for making the relationship work and both people have the same emotional investment in the relationship. That’s why goals should be clarified from the beginning.
4. Having the same goal means that both people want the same things from their relationship.
Sounds like a simple scheme.
Should we give it a try?