St.Valentines day is coming, but you don’t really feel like celebrating? Too much work, kids, cleaning, blah blah, blah…
What changes when you get married and have kids?
Honestly, there is a common misunderstanding that there is no romance after you have children.
Don’t let them full you!
Of course it depends on what you consider to be romance.
Let’s try to figure it out.
Basically, it’s an ability to seize the right moment to do something pleasant to your partner.
But if it’s so simple, then why do we lose this ability as time go by?
Try to remember your couple the first few month after you met.
Where did all stardust go?
Nowhere. It’s still there. But with one tiny difference.
During our romantic period we tend to constantly think about our partner, how to please him/her.
And this is how it works. You focus on another person, making his/her comfort more important than yours. But people are egoistic and this unnatural state simply goes away in course of time.
So what options do we have?
Not a hell of a lot.
If you want some romance, you’d have to work hard for it.
First of all.
Main thing to get rid of — is disregard.
How many time you call your husband/wife during the day? Or how often you have breakfast together? Or when was the last time you simply asked: «how are you» and really listened?
We kind of lose interest to each other’s personality. And how can you be romantic with someone you don’t care about? And due to the lack of communication, there is a possibility that you don’t even know your partner’s needs and desires anymore.
Second thing to get rid of — is anger. And become polite. Actually, it doesn’t mean that you have to hide your anger. You have to learn how to express it in the correct way.
Like instead of:
You are late again, just like your mother!
You may try:
I hate saying it, and I know it’s not your fault, but it makes my blood boil when you are late!
Add more kindness. Try to express appreciation and gratitude at any reason. Simple «thank you» – will do the job.
And the last thing — share success and happiness with your partner. If there is something that makes him/her happy, just be happy with him!