How many times you’ve been a witness to a pissed off mother yelling at her child?
Like a thousands times!
How many times you yelled at your little rugrats?
For those of you, who are shaking their heads and looking guilty – don’t worry! Even supermoms some time loose it…
According to the research that was published at Child Development journal last year, yelling is as bad as spanking or hitting! It can cause severe psychological problems.
Agression, wether it’s physical or verbal, causes child to switch in “the shutdown mode”. It means that a child will not be able to understand what you are saying if you are saying it in extremely high volume.
So, focus! When you feel you are loosing it, just breath and leave the room! IMMEDIATELY!
But what to do on a long term?
The key to success is understanding of the reasons why kids misbehave.
One of the most common reason is need or urge. For example, we all know that kids can be extremely cranky if they are tired. Or want to sleep, eat or drink. And our primary responsibility and duty is to fulfill their needs. So just imagine, your little kid is tired of waiting or is exhausted by something and instead of comforting him you yell! What happens in kid’s mind? He starts to feel guilty, insecure and embarrassed. Sounds horrendous, right? Should I explain where this road leads you?
Here are 5 steps that will help you to keep calm and love your kids ;)
There is a special yoga exercise, where you inhale deeply and slowly through your nose right into your belly and exhale fast through your mouth. Repeat 5 times.
2. Remind yourself, that it’s not your kid, it’s just his behavior.
Your kids are nice little angels, it’s just their behavior that stinks. If you are teaching your child some new skill, do you go mad if he doesn’t get it from the first time? No, you don’t (or at least you shouldn’t). It’s the desire that matters. Operating on the level of behavior won’t help you. So address to your kids. And make sure you do it when you are calm or just repeat step #1.
3. Explain feelings
Help your kids explain what they feel by showing an example. Toddlers misbehave mostly because they haven’t yet learned how to cope with and express their feelings. Explain that being mad, angry and upset – is totally ok. And it is important to say about it at loud.
4. Stick to your rules
If you have 10 minutes of TV every day, don’t let your kids exceed the limit. Not carrying out your restrictions will result in them testing you.
5. Put yourself in your kid’s shoes
It isn’t that hard. We were all little, after all. ;)