My mom loved to say that we are the lost generation. Probably, meaning that we are completely unfocused on doing “what’s right” and what we “have to do”. And that was absolutely true. That’s why our parents were focused on “helping” us making the right decisions. As a result we grew up under constant pressure. And we grew up feeling the necessity of inventing pressure free upbringing type. Must I name all the consequences?
Our parents said they know what’s best for us. And we trusted them. Blindly. We obeyed. Because “they know better“.
Every now and then I bump onto articles saying how important it is to do what you want and how life would have been so much easier if only we were taught this at school. I must say I walked this easy way too. I’m not a saint, you know. (Literally. You know, you read my blog). But how typical is that for our generation – blaming anyone else but ourselves?
How many times I stumbled in my life? I’ve changed directions more than 10 times. I’ve changed a country. I have tried on different roles. But I ended up right where I am now. And I wouldn’t have done it without that enormous pressure of “what I have to do”.
Each mistake and every step led me here and provided me with huge (sometimes even excessively enormous) experience.
My point is:
Dear people of MY GENERATION! We are exceptional. We have been gifted with the power of making our own mistakes. The power of understanding how trusting is different from obeying. And how the only thing we now know better, as parents, is that our love for our kids is GIGANTIC and unconditional.
So, you didn’t quite succeeded? Well, that’s very sad. But why did it happen? Did you find your purpose? Or you just stopped looking? And decided that somehow, if you keep on doing “what you should do” – it will find yourself.
Painful moment, right?
Well, either stop reading or dry your tears. Anyway, it won’t be long now and it’s getting interesting.
As parents, we want what’s best for our kids. We see them as our mini versions, continuation of our being in this world. That’s why we aim to provide them with everything we were deprived of. Trying to fill in our necessity, we block their development.
Running away from our parent’s example, but doing exactly the same.
This vicious circle has to be broken.
We had a lack of freedom. Thus, we overfeed our kids with freedom. Sometimes reducing the situation to an absurdity. Children till certain age are not designed for decision making. They feel pressure even when you ask them to choose which t-shirt they want to wear.
We need to stop.
And start enjoying parenting.
After all, life is about JOY.
Main photo credit Annie Spratt