Pregnancy. Short course.
We were not planning a pregnancy. To be precise, we did not plan to get married. I was horrified and amazed by pregnant girlfriends or those who already have given birth. And those who managed to keep a healthy attitude towards life, stay in a good shape and go on working – made me stand in awe.
First trimester – was magical, I did not feel sick, I was not attracted to the strange food, I slept great, and my breast looked like I did a boobjob. In general it is probably the best thing about pregnancy. I mean – breast. The only thing that annoyed – is that everybody kept on saying over and over again: “Do not worry, gaining 15-25 pounds is ok.” Well, I lost 10 pounds. And then it began … Now everybody wanted to feed me. And I ate, by the way, pretty well.
Pregnancy – is a condition in which nothing normal will happen to you.
I enjoyed everything before the belly began to grow. And my magic waist started to disappear. The worst thing is, that it does not become so nice round and cute at once, as in all those pregnant photos. At first it looks as if you ate 2 extra dinner. There is nothing you want to wear, nothing beautiful. And then I got into the worst place in the world – maternity apparel shop. It’s a crime against style and fashion. Seriously.
Jersey hell covered with pink ruffles. Who will answer me the question: why all maternity clothes have to be so fake cute? Looking at these ribbons and Babydoll dresses, I wanted to hug and take pitty on the woman who would wear it. So i pictured myself meeting my husband, wearing all this stuff. And how he would cry out of pity.
One more thing, right till the 8th month, all i wanted – was sex. Probably this is the only time, when a woman thinks like a man.
So, imagine the situation. I’m so in the mood for romance, feeling myself a passionate tigress… He is sitting and peacefully reading the newspaper, and suddenly, something huge and strange is approaching him…